THE SOURCE

Fumbling with the straws

Grappling and juggling them

In my fingers

Where is the long one?

Hidden among the short ones

The likelihood of my success

Muddled amongst the coloured

Clutter

Without reason, my hopeless

Scrambling fingers

Spoiling and stumbling

They are failing me

                Failing me

INNER HYMN

The winds as they change

The blossom does sway

Dancing in the light

Swinging, caught in the breeze

Destiny wrapped in the warmth

As spring exhales it’s breathe

A hymn clings to the golden thread

The embrace dressed in jasmine scent

While petals begin to fall

Whispers of tomorrows hope reflect

The wind will change

And the spirit will drift

A heart loves you

                                                                  

FALLING OVER

inspired love
walk in light

                    walk in light

shadows of the spirit
fade with time
that sway like shoes hung
from an overhead wire
doing pirroettes through
the clouds and distant sky
as the sun and moon move
reflecting the glow
the notes are caught in the breeze
that balance on the edge
as the inner dawn breaks
the darkened claws
the ghost haunting
entrapping
no longer in control
the yellow step unseen
catching the step
pushing the soul to fall
without strings
toward the darkened ground
screaming sounds
trapped in the sorrowed heart
watching as the pride
is smashed into tiny pieces
coloured red, purple and green
scattered
the colour leaking all over the
darkened ground
the soul
and the swaying spirit
walk in light

            walk in light

YOUR LEAVING

I will always love you, and I remember you always at this time........

You left

You couldn’t stay

You had to leave

You went away

I hoped my love would be enough

My love for you

My love for you

Have you woken in a place I will never see?

Have you for forgotten this life?

Have you forgotten me?

Why did I not listen?

Why did I not hear?

I’m sure you tried to tell me

I’m sure you made it clear

Was I nothing to your heart?

And nothingness tore out your soul?

Tore the soul from your heart?

No warmth, no love

No longer you felt whole

Now there is nothing left

Like the dust of the earth

As the ashes rose

Is that all you’re worth?

Your spirit drifted away

And my heart it did close

A moment in time

As your spirit rose

As I closed my heart

I also closed my eyes

I let out a cry

And cried my goodbyes

Why didn’t you scream at me?

Scream, howl and cry

Maybe I would have heard you

Instead you chose to die

I have been there

Stared pain in the face

Nothing worth loving

Nothing but blackness

Nothing but hate

My head full of hatred

My body full of dread

You could have ripped out my heart

Held it, felt it

My heart too felt dead

Shades and shadows of death

Loomed all around

The doors felt closed

Locked

In a place underground

Where did I lose myself?

On a path made for me

It was a map of my life

But I felt lost

Trapped

In a life which that did not deserve me

Like you I wanted to die

And go far away

But something saved me

It was life, my life

My soul

Me.

As seasons change

I feel your soul is free

I feel your spirit

Do you feel me?

But as I say goodbye

I cry tears for you

I cry

I cry

I’ll always love you

HAIKU

 

Willow weeps downward

A kiss upon water’s edge                       

Drowns the spirit in stifled love

Caged wings fly inward

            Fluttering dreams float downward

The heart craves outward

OH TO BE THE CATTERPILLAR

The question

When one touch unfolds the suffocated presence

You trap me in the colours

Embedded in your heart.

Woven between the shadows forming a river in your soul

life changes we unfold

In cycles of change

a mystical experience (oneness)

Where level of consciousness

covers our skin.

Lifting out of oneself

Accelerated by transformation

Being questioned

Our spirits are challenged

And urgency and intensity

Fold around our deep visions

Wrapped in thoughts feelings and impulses

Where touch is changed

Motivating values and the perceived light.

As time passes freely through the air

The unfamiliar slowness

Turning in the midst of fear

Spinning quickly bringing into the present

The dreams intuition altering the function

Memories perception feels the awareness change

As the light falls and the water caught

Behind the invisible armour

Melting the unconscious

Into the infinite unknown, where sparks of light

Illuminate the insight and individuality

The emptiness where the water flows through thoughts

As a dimly sensed thought exists

Finally released



BY STRING

A silent heart waits for the break

Toward the end

The broken spirit begins to mend

Stripped back to a floating core

The spirit to find its wings and move

Toward the end

Toward the end

REGENT

Remember what I promised you?

Times repression aches

The feeling of being late

Hangs among us

Where moments are no longer

Embraced

Unfolding

Unlived

Unloved

Validation

THE INVISIBLE CAPE

I wear my skin like an invisible cape
Hiding my soul which floats
Amongst the rubble and mess
The clutter fills the pit
The scent wafting full of disdain
Lost love reeking of pain
Anger lies in broken glass
Among the sounds of shouting
And lies and unheard truths
Crumbled between unwashed mistakes
Hate, floating in a murky filled jar
Slowly decaying
Fragments of empty apologies
Scattered throughout the room
Ripped up visions of the future in
Overflowing boxes
Piles of past manuscripts
Stacked in a corner
Reaching for the roof
That has been painted in nightmares
Of scared lonely nights
My invisible cape looks dirtied
Shadowed
From the scum and bruises and mess
There is nowhere to hide
I look around
There is no hope of finding my heart

THE GIFT

My heart is open
And all I was, is shown
The ripple of doubt
Flows in and out of my shore
Dampening the sands of self
The dreams seep into my mind
As the sun and moon cross paths
The notes of my tune
Empty from my mouth
Like a hollow strumming noise
My offering
Is given up
Is it a gift
Or a curse?

MY IMAGE

The image not black or white
My infant crying in your heart
Clutched
Below the shell
That sits on the shelf
Slightly cracked
Glistening light
Cradled around the mutated life
Crammed in the cup
How will she fly home
When the heart can't settle
Knowing she will break
On her landing
The changed mind
Reminds her of unspoken words
The silence that has been broken
By hate
Dirt falls in the corners of the room
From the distracted listening
She shouts silent demands
The empty room finds it echo
Its response scares her
Sounding like a distant creator
Draped in a luminous darkness
The black glow she thought
Had long gone
But her eyes now ache from the concentration
Of watching
As she waits for her time
I don't understand you
Your feeling
Your presance
That fills sthe space
That you drown me in
A liquid muddy water
that clings to the wall of
Muted yellows
Smudging the images
That are imprinted into the surface
You shiver as the black air wraps around
You and your shadow
That merges upon the wooden floor
Your hope caught in the nape
Of your shadows neck
That too fades
Time does not change anything
Time changes time
Time is all that remains

THE CAPTAIN

For anyone who knows me, and for those who don't, I loooovvveeeee Kasey Chambers and tonight Jules and myself went to her "Little Bird" show (yep, take note, LITTLE BIRD, there is a theme) I have been to every show of hers, (but no I am not one of those obsessed fans, who wait at the stage door, clutching paraphernalia for my idol to sign) we saw those people, and good on em, waiting, chain smoking in anticipation for their idol.  But I just don't get it, do they realise their idol has finished work for the day and they want to go be normal like the rest of us.  I just don't get that idea of "wanting" more from someone just because they are famous.  They are human, with feelings and beings and desires.  They are not made to meet our needs or desires.  Especially after we have just been treated to almost two hours of our idol at their most. 

These people I concluded tonight are the same people who pushed in front of me in the line for the merchandise (I was buying my niece a little Kasey Chambers doll!!), they push in at the entry door (when its allocated seating, don't get that!!), they run for the toilets.  They sit behind you in the theater repeating "play The Pines, they never play The Pines" or the people in front who aren't happy with their seats (4 rows from the front, they were brilliant seats!!!) they are the same people who cut in when leaving the jam packed car park and then they are the people who are waiting at the stage door for Kasey to leave...where I began.  Makes me wonder about human kind.....human kindNESS.....

BUT ALL THAT ASIDE (just me not understanding people really) I had a brilliant time.  Little Bird is the newest of Kasey's album and is beautiful (as always!) and she played a few tunes from that album, but she re-visited all the favourites from her past, she entertained and treated us to a show with no bells and whistles, big bangs and a light show.  Just music and more music.  I loved it.  The Captain, is my favourite and has traveled with me for so many years check out the video on youtube

The Captain-Max Sessions

But The Captain inspired my thoughts below

I am not perfect
I lie
I bend the truth
I protect
I protect you
I hide
I love you
I am no-one
I owe you
I keep trying
I believe in you
I ask for seconds
I have found peace
I know my journey
I see
I see you
I know my dream
I feel
I will fight
I will fight for you
I resist change
I can't change
I won't change
I am
I am me

WAKING FROM A TRAPPED DREAM



Hello, as the nausea sets in.  The remains of my sleepless night lingering in the air.  My dream broken as my agitated presence even makes me angry.  Wondering, why am I here?  Darkness has not yet lifted, silence and slowness fumble in the surrounds.  Where have all my dreams gone?  Straightening, slicing through the air, where is the vision I once saw so clearly, is it trapped in the night?

TANGLED

The cover new and flat
With empty sheets
As the coloured winged bird
Pecks at the pages
The tune played in my ear
Violins are pulled
As my heart shuts over
I want to fly away
Looking for my wings
To where birds don't live
In cages
But in trees
Fast playing piano
Directs my pace
Distressed from the rules
The expectation
The knowledge
No longer noticing the
Springs blossom
That once dressed my visions
I am hungry for its love
Its touch
The longing
My passion
To be told
And valued
To be enough
Amongst the earth
The weeds entangle my life
Grabbing at the earths skin
The new shoots of life frighten me
As the wattle falls
Around me
I cant breathe for fear of failing you

When is enough good

As my eyes are covered

In a deep purple pain

That you carry in a silver tin

Your silhouette

Still visible

Through falling tears

That wet the rich earth