As my light becomes dark

I intertwine my words and vision into woven light

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

An open letter of forgivness to Sarah

Dear Sarah

This is an open letter of FORGIVNESS....by the time you write the final word you must be ready, ready to lead from a place where you treat yourself with the same love and respect you treat others with.

Going blind is not the curse you are burdened with.  Going blind has actually become the backbone of your spirit. 
Your curse is YOU the you which is not confident or brave or a self believer. 
You sit alone with yourself and think you have lost your mind.
You think you are responsible for how others judge you and 
You criticize your spirit till you break it.  

But today you will make peace with yourself.

I HATE how no one believed you as a child when you repetivly said you couldn't see.

I HATE that as a child you were left in dark situations and were petrified.  
I HATE for the night walks on school camps and you getting left behind on your own where you felt your first sense of isolation in dark and silence.  

I HATE for the bike rides home in the middle of winter at night, riding home from netball training where you were part of a team who didn't want you as much as you didn't want to be there because you couldn't see the netball.  
I HATE for the roller skating rinks with flashing lights, parties and discos,  staying at friends places and knocking over glasess and glasses of milk and being yelled at, walking into barbed wire fences, walking into trees walking into your friends.

I HATE that you were a drama queen and you set yourself up to not be believed,  that being so needy of attention didn't allow room for truth to serve you well.

I HATE that when you were 17 years old you made the grown up decision of not obtaining a drivers license,  for knowing the pain of one day relinquishing the right. And I HATE from that day forward you have battled with yourself about that integral part of becoming a young adult and in one part of your mind you will always be that 17 year old.  
I HATE how you have to go with your mum to family functions and at times feel trapped when you can't leave.  
I HATE how you have to rely on people at times to get you places and I HATE that they don't mind and I HATE you feel like you are putting people out.  
I HATE that you be stubborn and sometimes put yourself in situations that are unsafe.

I HATE the rubbish bin at your aunties that you used to always trip over and the cuburbs you smash your face on, the metal pillars,  the steps and gutters, dark hallways, small children, pets, chairs, the corners of furniture.

I HATE the time you were introduced to a young guy at a party who lived with deafness, no one told you he was deaf or him that you were visually impaired and you did not see him stick out his hand to shake yours and he thought you were rude. I HATE all the hand shaking moments you have missed,  or the missed waves of hello. 

I HATE your lack of eyesight means you miss out on taking your niece and nephew out into the world, to the shops, to the park just with you.

I HATE the thoughts you have of being late anywhere,  entering a room on your own, crowds, dark venues and door handles you can't find.

I HATE how you were crippled by panic on the island of Santorini,  how the beauty and enormoity of the place was so astounding and soul shaking it possibly changed your spirit.  You saw first hand how your visual impairment can burden others, and I HATE that 8 months later you still blame yourself for that time.

I HATE how you feel responsible that your friends have turned their back on you. You are not responsible for thier choice.  They don't deserve what you have to offer.

I HATE the frustration and anger and the pretending when things really are not OK.  I HATE the uncertainty about time frames and cures and the loss of hope that eats around the periphery.

But mostly I HATE the fear you have learnt over the past twenty years and have carried with you and in you.  Your anxiety is real your concerns true.  BUT that is where you need to leave it.

Your life is NOW, and you are a beautiful caring human.  And its time to make peace and resolve with yourself.  Matt Corby you saved my soul from truly breaking My Resolution the true message in song.


Sarah I believe in you
And Sarah with each obstacle I know you will look straight down the barrel and combat and fight.
Sarah I love you

Sarah I forgive you









Sunday, May 25, 2014

The Writing Process Blog Tour

 The secret of life is to fall seven times and get up eight ~ Paulo Coehlo


I have become part of the Monday Writing Process Blog Tour.  The aim of the tour is to bring together writers and readers from all corners of the globe answer four questions and then invite other writers to do the same.  Bee Williamson invited me along.  She has always been a believer in me, featuring me in her blog.  Thanks Bee, I feel totally honored for your invite.  You can check out her blog at:

http://beesboutiquebooks.biz/wordpress/

So the questions...

What am I working on?
I am always working, writing I think is almost like breathing to me, even when there is no physicality in the act, I am always thinking and looking for inspiration.  I have recently begun a mentorship with Maribel Steel, a talented writer, but also a personal inspiration, is guiding and nurturing me on a journey through poetry.  My deep desire is to be able to combine poetry and photography, essentially create art.


How does my work differ from others of its genre?
My poetry is primarily based on a stream of thoughts, usually I take an initial image, or place in time, feeling and then run with it.  I think I am still in the developing stage, refining my thoughts and articulating the power of a single line.  I am not entirely sure I differ from others in the poetry world.  I in fact think each poet/writer, in their own right, is different.  But what I do hope with my writing is that I have the ability to move something in someone, that’s it, it’s pretty simple, I am not in this for writing fame or big publishing, just to be able to touch someone and move someone.

Why do I write what I do?
I write to free my inner voice that seems to have little room for expression in the world I live.  I write to show, to be free, to discover, to feel and ultimately grow.  If this was posed as the question “WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WANT TO DO” writing would complete me.

How does my writing process work?
Inspiration is like sunrise.  Just before rising, it hovers on the horizon, peeking slowly over, and then suddenly it arrives, inspiration hits.  I am not a late night writer (I love my sleep too much) I don’t wake during the night inspired.  I am my best early morning, fresh mind, open heat and poised pen.  I am always finding inspiration walking the streets, on the tram, under the sun, in the fresh air, I pull out my phone, head to Google keep and start taking notes of what I see, and what I feel.


So that’s how I begin...with heart and mind.



And now I invite Rashma N. Kalsie to take part.  Rashma is an Indian writer-playwright based in Australia. She is the founder of Indian Diaspora Dramatics Association, a registered incorporated association in Victoria. She represents Indian dramatic tradition in Australia in the capacity of an MAV/MTC Ambassador, 2013-14.

She is the co-author of Ohh! Gods Are Online.. published by a renowned Indian publishing house, Srishti Publishers in June, 2013. Her book has received media attention and appreciative reviews.

She has written several plays. Her original play, ‘The Lost Dog’, was recently produced with the help of funds from the Council of The City of Greater Dandenong. The play was acclaimed by the press and received well by the audience and journalists. The production was reported widely in newspapers (Leader, G’Day India, and SBS Radio) and reviewed by Indian Link, an Indian-Australian newspaper. The play script has received over 1000 hits on an Australian theatre website, where it was first posted. Rashma had produced and directed the play. 

She was recently invited by Women Writing for (a) Change, a foundation that runs 8 writing schools in USA. She presented a talk on play writing and production, ‘From the Page to the Stage’, to a group of writers in Cincinnati, Ohio where the Foundation has its head office.

She is an appointed editor on Passionate 4 Prose, a website for writers.

She has contributed to e-zines like Garamchai.com, in the past. Her write up, ‘How I Used NetOrbis.Com To Produce My Play And Go House Full In 40 Days Flat’ received a 100,000 views on NetOrbis.com, a social media website. She contributes, by the way of interviewing artists and writers, to Straight Talk on NetOrbis.Com. Her poem, “Remains of love”, was presented in a poetry program on Phoenix FM 106.7 MHz, Bendigo.

You can check out Rashma and her talent at:

http://blogtounblock.blogspot.com.au