As my light becomes dark

I intertwine my words and vision into woven light

Thursday, February 14, 2013

the men who haven't thrown me from the train

yesterday I cried at work.

yesterday I cried in my manager's office.

yesterday I cried.

I have always had this thing about not being emotional at work and by  showing emotion you are in a sense showing a sign of weakness; I know crying is not weakness, it's an expression of feeling overwhelmed and this bubbling emotion inside needs to be released.

yesterday I cried.

Four months ago I was thrown into a leadership position where I became the supervisor for a division in our contract, Citipower Special Reading.

I never thought that I would be in this position, I never thought I had the capacity to lead people. I never believed I would be given an opportunity to take this role.

yesterday I cried.

I have had four believers in my court....actually as I write that I realise I have a lot of believers.  However, professionaly I have four clear front runners.

Paul McCann our Operations Manager, he's my friend firstly, but he's always been an advocate of mine at work. He's a perfect example of how I want to lead people....

Sean Keuneman my contract manager who I am grateful for the trust he has in me.  Unfortunately we have over my three years with Servicestream had some testing times personally, yet I have come to realise the heart on his sleeve is purely that, a can't deny the heart.

Michael Hill who no longer works with us, but he, I think, started mentoring me long before I showed any potential, I see that now.....I will always be grateful for his presence in my life.

Finally Matt Mannix.  He was the reason I cried yesterday.  He is my biggest advocate, he has believed in my ability, tested my capability, put pressure, shown me how to lead, shown compassion, worked with my strengths and encouraged.  I have trusted whole heartedly in him and I thank him for the times he has been in the direct firing line of my impatience, frustrations my self disappointment but ultimately my eagerness to be the best I can be.

Yesterday I cried because of that, and I sit here now filling with that same emotion.

These men have never stopped believing in me even when I have....

for that I am grateful....

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