As my light becomes dark

I intertwine my words and vision into woven light

Friday, October 15, 2010

The I Remembers....

we all come from somewhere, so much worth remembering.  I remember writing this, it was meant be in a poem, yet turned into this.  A writing task set by Melanie at Easter of this year, and this is where the writing re formed itself

I remember when I was five and I started school, I cried, I loved being with my brother.
I remember making cubbies with my brother every Sunday morning, made from chairs and blankets, we had a little world of our own.
I remember lighting fires in the fireplace with Dad every winter morning,
I remember school holidays driving to Melbourne there was always a building of excitement, especially when we saw the city in the distance.
Everytime I see my grandmother, a memory etched on my mind, a memory yet to remember.
I remember the first time I watched Brides of Christ and I wanted to become a nun.
I remember when my nephew was born at 4:55am, and I held him when he was only an hour old, I felt a level of love I had never felt before.
I remember learning to swim in the King River and diving deep to pick up stones from the bottom, I remember the silence under the water and trying to walk along the bottom where it was dark and silent.
I was 10 when I first met Holly Tunstall, and her flaming red hair, neither of us had dolls, so we drew pictures together.  I remember when her step mother burnt the letters I had written her, I hate her, she burnt our friendship, I remember watching the flames, and I cried, she was burning me.  I remember Holly inspiring me to be happy, even when everything around me felt unhappy.  I remember we would ride our bikes and meet each other on Edi Upper Road,  we road for kilometres to see each other, even for small moments in time, especially when her step mother said we couldn’t see each other.  I remember Holly.
I remember hearing Kasey Chambers sing The Captain for the first time, walking from my place in Shaolhaven St, I walked differently from that house that day, I understood what freedom was.
I remember arriving in Paris, and exhaling a breath of relief, my dream had come true, and I felt like I was home, smiling at every second person I passed in the street, embracing what my mind had thought about so many times.

I remember meeting Marie on the curise to the Pacific Islands, and she asked if she and her friend could sit with us.  Friend for life from her.
I remember my grandfathers funeral and feeling proud to be his granddaughter, holding his spirit in my heart and promising to never let that feeling die.
I remember our dog Frog eating my Easter egg, prancing from my bedroom with the elegant rabbit in her mouth; she was so proud, tail wagging.  She brought so much  happiness to our family.

I remember picking blueberries with Erica Jamison on her blueberry farm, and then making blueberry pies with her Mum, one of those memories too great to recreate.
I remember helping Mr Brewster do his garden when I was in grade six, he was 93 years old and I would sit and hold his hand and he would talk.  I remember when he died and I couldn’t go tend his garden anymore.
I remember the Christmas Santa danced on the shed roof and everyone laughed and cheered.
I remember going to my first concert, Tina Arena, I loved her, thought she was so beautiful.
I remember my last day of year twelve, 1996 and it was the day I turned 18 years old, I was so excited and felt like the world revolved around me for one day.
I remember when Laura moved to London and I was scared what my life would be like, I remember her saying goodbye and her mother was crying, and I walked away with tears streaming down my face unable to say goodbye to her.
I remember the sunflowers in Mums garden, 100’s of them in a garden bad, all facing the sun, swaying towards the sun, it was an amazing sight, like they were dancing.
I remember reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in my tent at Marlo and it poured with rain for days and I was transported to another place away from the rainy windy caravan park,
I remember learning the flute and how I couldn’t read the sheet music, and how hard I tried, and I just didn’t get it.  I remember I wanted to be good at it.
I remember graduating from university and how I didn’t want to go to the ceremony and my grandfather told me the moment isn’t just about me and how proud he and my grandmother and my parents were and the importance of education., and he said if he wasn’t so unwell he would be there standing clapping me with pride.  I remember he died a week before the ceremony, and the overwhelming amount of grief I felt on the morning of the ceremony, until I approached       the stage and then I was overwhelmed with an enormous amount of pride and gratitude for knowing him and knowing who he was to me.
I remember when Melanie left our school and I wondered for days where she was.   Another teacher told me she had gone to another school and she was not coming back anytime soon.   I was so sad.  I remember having no-one to share my pain with over losing who I thought was one of the most amazing people in my life.  I remember not being able to say goodbye or express my thanks or appreciation.  I felt alone and deserted and upset.  I knew I had to contact her somehow and I remember writing to her at her new school.  I remember then she went to Greece and she wrote to me about all these new and wonderful things, inspiring a place in my heart to dream, to travel, to write and to believe.  It was here that the most beautiful of friendships was forged, through writing and expression and a way for me to grow wings and fly.
I remember the only time I have driven a car, I was 14 and Dad let me drive up our 1 km long drive way, and I did so well until we approached the house and I got nervous and increased speed rather than decreasing and almost ran into the house, and Dad screaming at me.  I remember never being able to drive again.
I remember Mum always serving us broad beans for dinner, and how David gagged on them and I remember asking  her why so many of them.  She showed me the freezer was full of them, the only vegetables that grew in a drought.
I remember when David tipped a boiling bowl of two minute noodles all down the front of himself and  him screaming, and me running down to the neighbours place, and not falling over from running too fast down the hill.  I remember mum vomiting during our drive to the hospital.  I couldn’t stop shaking, and my teeth were chattering.  David kept laughing from the shock.  He spent 6 weeks in hospital and I remember my grandmother bringing him cans of coke and I was pissed off, where was my coke!!!  He would cry when they would give him baths and bath his skin.  I remember him not being able to swim without a t-shirt.  He still loves two minute noodles.
I remember going to see The Wizard of Oz at the Regent Theatre with Molly and Nicole, and all the colours and music was so overwhelming.  This defined my love of musical theatre.


  1. I remember this fondly. Moments frozen in memories, snapshots of our souls, record of our lives...

  2. wow, that is the beginnig of something beautiful....but thank you for your friendship and inspiration

  3. i love this... i love you! you always make me smile :)
    love sam xxx