WHY DO YOU DO WHAT YOU DO?

Thie question was posed to me a few months ago....and as we embark on a new year, I return to the question and I return to the words.....

My “job” is not me.  My job is the in between place where I stand searching for what I want for my life.  A job, a place I go to make money, so I can live, and leave that job at the end of the day and do the things I love.  This job has no ties with my inner world, my inner desires.  Why do I do this job?  We have to work....does this make me happy?  A question, separate, yet probably the one that is important.

I write to free my inner voice that seems to have little room for expression in the world I live.  I write to show, to be free, to discover, to feel and ultimately grow.  If this was posed as the question “WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WANT TO DO” writing would complete me.

I be the person I am because to me there aren’t enough good hearted people.  It’s the thing I strive hardest at, be the best person I can be, to love and share and give

I don’t know why I do what I do.  Maybe because you HAVE to do, and does that doing mean you have to do what makes you happy???

THE SMALL CUPBOARD

There is a dusty path

That leads to a small door

The door to a small space

And in that small space

A light will appear

A light from my heart

I allowed you to come near

You saw my light

The beautiful light came from me

You reached through the small doorway

My heart was set free

You took hold of my torch

You took hold of me

Now where is my flame?

The flame that once warmed me

How do I illuminate a dark heart?

Which now is a bottomless hole?

How do I fill my heart with promise?

And empty the dark from my soul?

Where can I find the light?

The light just for me

And how can I fill the small space

The place, the space

My heart

Me?

THE SOURCE

Fumbling with the straws

Grappling and juggling them

In my fingers

Where is the long one?

Hidden among the short ones

The likelihood of my success

Muddled amongst the coloured

Clutter

Without reason, my hopeless

Scrambling fingers

Spoiling and stumbling

They are failing me

                Failing me

INNER HYMN

The winds as they change

The blossom does sway

Dancing in the light

Swinging, caught in the breeze

Destiny wrapped in the warmth

As spring exhales it’s breathe

A hymn clings to the golden thread

The embrace dressed in jasmine scent

While petals begin to fall

Whispers of tomorrows hope reflect

The wind will change

And the spirit will drift

A heart loves you

                                                                  

FALLING OVER

inspired love
walk in light

                    walk in light

shadows of the spirit
fade with time
that sway like shoes hung
from an overhead wire
doing pirroettes through
the clouds and distant sky
as the sun and moon move
reflecting the glow
the notes are caught in the breeze
that balance on the edge
as the inner dawn breaks
the darkened claws
the ghost haunting
entrapping
no longer in control
the yellow step unseen
catching the step
pushing the soul to fall
without strings
toward the darkened ground
screaming sounds
trapped in the sorrowed heart
watching as the pride
is smashed into tiny pieces
coloured red, purple and green
scattered
the colour leaking all over the
darkened ground
the soul
and the swaying spirit
walk in light

            walk in light

YOUR LEAVING

I will always love you, and I remember you always at this time........

You left

You couldn’t stay

You had to leave

You went away

I hoped my love would be enough

My love for you

My love for you

Have you woken in a place I will never see?

Have you for forgotten this life?

Have you forgotten me?

Why did I not listen?

Why did I not hear?

I’m sure you tried to tell me

I’m sure you made it clear

Was I nothing to your heart?

And nothingness tore out your soul?

Tore the soul from your heart?

No warmth, no love

No longer you felt whole

Now there is nothing left

Like the dust of the earth

As the ashes rose

Is that all you’re worth?

Your spirit drifted away

And my heart it did close

A moment in time

As your spirit rose

As I closed my heart

I also closed my eyes

I let out a cry

And cried my goodbyes

Why didn’t you scream at me?

Scream, howl and cry

Maybe I would have heard you

Instead you chose to die

I have been there

Stared pain in the face

Nothing worth loving

Nothing but blackness

Nothing but hate

My head full of hatred

My body full of dread

You could have ripped out my heart

Held it, felt it

My heart too felt dead

Shades and shadows of death

Loomed all around

The doors felt closed

Locked

In a place underground

Where did I lose myself?

On a path made for me

It was a map of my life

But I felt lost

Trapped

In a life which that did not deserve me

Like you I wanted to die

And go far away

But something saved me

It was life, my life

My soul

Me.

As seasons change

I feel your soul is free

I feel your spirit

Do you feel me?

But as I say goodbye

I cry tears for you

I cry

I cry

I’ll always love you

HAIKU

 

Willow weeps downward

A kiss upon water’s edge                       

Drowns the spirit in stifled love

Caged wings fly inward

            Fluttering dreams float downward

The heart craves outward